Saturday, March 26, 2011

Question 101: "What About the Kids?"

Question 101: "What about the kids?"

My Answer: “What about the kids?!?”

Yes, the book is done (finally!). I just need to iron out a few kinks in the Kindle upload. But I have saved the best for last and I’ll share question 101 with you in a moment.

The reason for the delay…we had a lot of bloggers in town and that means “party time”: out to dinner, ice cream at Tutto Freddo, pizza at Chicago’s Pizza, and cappuccino at—you guessed it—“Cappuccino”!

One question kept arising in all our discussions about moving to Cuenca and very simply put, it was: “What about the kids?” A couple in their 50’s shared how one of their daughters was having trouble with their move to Ecuador. I listened, nodded my head, and truly empathized.

The discussion is not a new one; in fact, it’s very relevant! My response is always this: If you absolutely cannot live without your kids by your side or the grandkids in your lap, then please do not move to Ecuador. You will be doing yourselves a huge favor and saving yourself a lot of grief down the road. We have seen couples split up over this one important “question” and it’s not a pretty sight.

For some reason, the problem is more difficult with daughters than sons.You know the old saying: “A son is a son until he takes a wife; a daughter is a daughter for the rest of her life.” We have two sons and I have to admit it was difficult the first three months when we arrived in Cuenca. I went through what I can only describe as a "grieving" phase. I even went so far as to hide their pictures because I broke into tears every time I passed them.

Our sons are going to be 25 and 30 years old this summer; one is married and the other is single. We arrived here just a few days after my youngest son’s wedding and I’m not going to hide the fact -- it was painfully difficult! So if you can avoid it, don’t plan your move to Ecuador with a wedding in the works because emotions are running high anyway.

We keep in touch through Skype (more now because we have high-speed internet) and through Facebook (although don’t ever write on their wall, only message them).

Here’s my point: They have their own lives and you have yours. They would much rather go on vacation with their friends than spend time in South America visiting Inca Ruins and the Cajas. Heck, they’re probably glad we moved away because the top three reasons for divorce are: money, sex, and in-laws. We eliminated the latter by moving to Cuenca. My oldest son even commented when we were home for Christmas, “I’m used to it now; I don’t want you to move back!”

Okay, there you have it; the answer you were looking for… right from the source. We will always be there for our children and if there is an emergency we can be on a plane and arrive on the East Coast in almost a day! But if there is any hesitation on your part (and we have seen it in the eyes of many), then don’t do it…don’t move to Cuenca!

In fact, I will go so far as to say that we will all be much happier. Remember: Your kids will always be your kids and they will be happier just knowing that you love your new life!

Until next time...hasta luego!

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