Culture Shock: One-Year Anniversary!

We’re coming up on our one-year anniversary in Cuenca, so we celebrated today at Piedra de Agua (thermal springs) in Baños. I cashed in my Mother’s Day coupon, we grabbed the #11 bus, and off we went.

The weather was almost perfect (cloudy with a chance of sprinkles). Believe it or not, I love cloudy days in Cuenca because it makes the colors so much more vibrant and the warm thermal springs that much hotter! While we were soaking in the three different pools, we took some time to reflect on all we have been through this past year in Ecuador.

Most of us don’t talk that much about “culture shock,” but it’s a very real thing! Even if you’re progressing quite nicely in the language, you love your condo down by the river, and you enjoy basking in the sunshine on your morning walks, you have to realize that moving to another country is a big deal. Although compared to our life in the States—where we literally ran a three-ring circus—this is truly paradise. But still there are some major-life changing events that have taken place.

In the book, Culture Shock, the author Myron Loss talks about some of the life-changing events that happen when you begin life in a new culture. A score of 300 or more (life-changing points) makes you more susceptible to disease, accidents, and surgery. And it’s even more drastic when you’re coming right from the workforce to life in paradise. It’s literally a shock to the system!

Here are some of the possible life-changing points you might experience as you transition into another culture:


*Change in financial state (38)
*Change to different line of work (36)
*Change in living conditions (25)
*Revision of personal habits (24)
*Change in work hours or conditions (20)
*Change in residence (20)
*Change in recreation (19)
*Change in church activities (18)
*Change in social activities (18)
*Change in number of family get-togethers (15)
*Change in eating habits (15)
*Change in language (50)

TOTAL 299 points

Additional points: marriage (50); gain of a new family member (39); personal injury or illness (53); change in health (44); spouse begins or stops work (26).

I purposely left out the additional points you get for selling a house, moving, and shipping a container because I didn’t want to stress you out too much!

But I have to say that after you reach the one-year mark, you have passed over a major hurdle. To be honest with you, some couples don’t make it that far (one or both of them can’t adjust).

What I’m getting at is paradise has its benefits and it also has some stress points during the first year. You can minimize some of the points by being aware that they exist. I won’t tell you how many points Mark and I have racked up, but let’s just say we were way over the 299 points (I mean way over!). Even so, Mark and I have managed to lose weight and lower our blood pressure. Mark was taking ten different medications when he first arrived and now is only on one! Our doctor told us that it’s not unusual; in fact, he sees it all the time.

Life in paradise has significant health benefits that far outweigh any life-changing points that you may experience during your transition. You can also minimize some points by being careful how much you take on during your first year here. Remember: you don’t have to say “yes” to every dinner invitation; you don’t have to attend every social function; you don’t have to go to language school every day for eight hours; and you don’t have to feel guilty for leaving your family or kids behind.

Life in paradise is what you make it and you get to decide how you’re going to live it! Please be kind to yourself while you’re packing up, moving, and transitioning. The honeymoon period can truly last a lifetime if you take baby steps, listen to your heart, and don’t take on too much at one time.

We hope we can celebrate your one-year anniversary someday!

Until next time…hasta luego!








culture shock retirement life overseas living and retiring in Ecuador
*Courtesy of: Loss, Myron, Culture Shock, Light and Life Press, pg. 77.
 

 

Ecuador -- Culture Shock!

Yesterday my hubby called Nicholas Crowder the author of Culture Shock: Ecuador! and they talked for 2-1/2 hours. Mr. Crowder gave his home phone number on one of the Ecuadorian forums with an invitation to call anytime, so my hubby did just that.

Nicholas has been married to an Ecuadorian for 28 years and his book has sold over 4 million copies! If you don't have a copy of this masterpiece and you're planning to visit, live or retire in Ecuador, it is must-have reading.

Mr. Crowder doesn't sugarcoat anything, which is refreshing! Having lived in Sicily for six years, we wish we would have had a handbook similar to this one. Inside its glossy covers you will find a wealth of information including -- but not limited to --first impressions, fitting into society, do's and don'ts, settling in, and cultural taboos!

I took the "culture quiz" in the back of the book and passed (only because it is so similar to the Italian culture!).

Here are some things I did NOT know:

• "Don't laugh very loudly!" (Oops...I'm going to have to work on that one!)
  
• "Understand that elephants are a sign of good luck in Ecuador. Many houses have a number of elephant ornaments. There's a phrase that says each home should have one elephant ornament that was given, one bought and one stolen. Many Ecuadorians will have the elephant ornaments facing a window or door for good luck." (Okay, I'm out to buy an elephant!)
  
• "Remember that women from the United States are often seen by Ecuadorian men as being sexually permissive." (Yes, I think I remember that from Sicily, although the men were overtly suggestive -- complete with hand gestures to match!)
  

Some of the book was review, but other fine points were startling and revealing. Keeping an open mind is so important and part of the cross-cultural process.

A side note: Today was my hubby's last day of work (he is officially retired!). We are going out to dinner tonight to celebrate, but I didn't realize how difficult this day was for him. I thought he would return home with a smile on his face, but instead tears were streaming down his cheeks.

I don't care what culture you are from, men gain their significance from their work, unlike women who are more nurturers by nature. I remember feeling differently after leaving the medical field after 20 years. I turned in my magnetic name badge, had my exit interview, and walked out into the hospital parking lot kicking my heels and shouting, "I'm free...free at last!" Unlike my husband, I did not gain my significance from my work and didn't care if I ever saw green-tiled hospital walls ever again!

Retirement gets a whopping 100 points on the stress scale (right up there with the death of a spouse), so I will let this culture shock (of sorts) take time to seep in. I'm sure after Mark leaves for Ecuador next week, he will be feeling differently (I hope!).

Oh, on a happier note, my manuscript was turned into the publisher today. One book down and one to go (May 15 is the deadline). I can do this!

Until next time...hasta luego!


Mark and Connie